Snowdon - part 3

The path was climbing steadily to the ridge that would lead us to the peak and with it the wind and rain were, somehow, intensifying further still.

"Guys, this is getting stupid" said Mr Munns.
"Yes! We know!" I replied cackling in a manner that must have been slightly disconcerting.
"No, this is getting really stupid, as in dangerous. I think we should turn back."
You know The fellowship of the ring? Where Gandalf is trying to lead them across the mountain? It was like that. Only minus the battling wizards. And with the addition of bowler hats. And so, like Gandalf, I cried
"No!"
And we tried to struggle on against the elements.We made it only a few metres further before a huge gust of wind caught the Union Jack held in Mr Munns back pack and pulled him off balance I managed to grab him and pull him back onto the path.
"I am not happy guys!" cried Mr Munns,
"We're so close! We must be near the top now!" I replied.
"This is actually dangerous! We need to turn back!"
"You know in stories where the heroes encounter moment of where all appears to be lost? This is that moment!"
Mr Munns paused.
"Damn you!"
We turned to carry on when out of the mists appeared a figure. Dim at first the coming into view. It was a man dressed in full Arctic gear. He was clad in full waterproofing, his head clad in a mountaineering helmet and in his hand he held the pole and curved blade of an ice axe. This man was ready for anything. Apart from sunshine.
"How far are we from the top now?" asked Mr Munns.
The man turned to answer, slipped on the rain soaked rocks, regained his balance before replying.
"Your not far now. Thirty minutes to the top I'd say."
Thirty minutes! We could do that! Sure the conditions were atrocious, the wind blowing harder than ever and the snow obscuring the pathway, but that was within the realms of possibility!
"What's the weather like up there?" asked Mr Munns.
The man in the Arctic gear thought for a second.
"The wind is bad. Not quite blowing you off your feet but close."
"Worse than here?" I asked.
"Yes."
Ah.
"The snow?" I asked.
"It gets a lot worse than here."
Oh.
"So what do you reckon?"
The man paused before replying, it was as if he was aware of the dramatic tension he was providing. Finally he said
"It's pretty bad."

Now you have to bear in mind that this is coming from a man who is dressed for surviving an ice age. A man like this probably has a different definition of "pretty bad" to you or I.

Mr Munns turned to me.
"We should take tea here then head back."

I had to agree with him. Whilst Scott of the Antarctic is one of the most legendary heroes in British history he is also dead. I can't say I fancied joining him.

We dashed into the shelter of a huge rock. Pulled the teapot from the rucksack and hurriedly searched for the tea. Mr Bridges attempted to light his gas stove but to no avail. We threw two tea bags into the pot followed swiftly by the thermos of hot water that was substantially cooler than it had been to start with. Decorum was thrown to the (still raging) wind as we shook the tea pot roughly to speed up the brewing. Milk was grabbed and tea was drunk.

The tea was good. The warmth of it made it apparent just how cold we had become. We drank it quickly. It was now the plan to get of this mountain as fast as possible.

But Mr Booker had a surprise in store for us
"I had hoped to read this on the top, but this will have to do."
And from his pockets he pulled a sodden copy of the soliloquy from Hamlet from his pocket and started to read.
"To be, or not to be, that is the question. Whether it is..."
The rain was hammering down on the paper and the ink was running everywhere.
"...or to take arms against a sea of troubles..."
The wind was now ripping chunks out of the paper and sucking away off the mountain.
"Erm... odds, bodkins..."
The paper now disintegrated in his hands and vanished off on the wind. He turned to us
"I bid you adieu!"
And with that he headed off down the mountain.


It was a moment I will always treasure.

And with that we headed off down the mountain. I have to admit I was in a dark mood. Yes tea had been taken on snowdon. But not as I had planned at all. It was not from a china set, it was not at the top, there had been no cake, Earl Grey had been sacrificed for a stronger Assam.

It crossed my mind to claim that the photo you saw was of us on the top and the china tea set was out of view. But then you would not be a sponsoring gentleman adventurer you would be sponsoring a gentleman poser, a gentleman fraud, a charlatan. And that I am not.

The truth is that whilst this could be argued to be a success, it was also in part a failure. As we reached the standing stone that indicated the miners track I vowed that I would return! I made my way down the mountain. How was I going to explain this to the BBC? to the Queen? to you? How could I hope to join the ranks of Sir Everard im Thurn?

Hold on.

Something stirred in my mind. Sir Everard im Thurn! He had had to make two attempts on Mt Roraima! I remembered it from his account to the Royal Geographical society in 1885! And it was at this point that I underwent a little bit of what writers call "character development". It's not that adventurers don't encounter failure. They do! It's how they respond to it that makes them adventurers!

So, Snowden may have won/drawn the first round. But I will be back!

I vowed to get the top hat back, and I did, now I vow to return, to take the tea properly!

Yours sincerely,

Alistair Linsell- Gentleman Adventurer!

No updates for a week as I'm off skiing! Though soon after we shall see how I get by with challenge two at the Royal Society Of Chemistry!