What ho fellows!
Do you fancy helping out a gentleman with only the click of your mouse?
Of course you do!
So if you could join the facebook page bellow that would help me immensely
I've made a short film for the BCS Digital Revolutions competition at Sheffield Doc/Fest all about the fundraising campaign. The theme was "how digital technology has changed your life".
The cometition also involves a social media campaign so simply by joining the page you are helping out!
The link for the film is on the page below. thanks for your continued support
Yours truly,
Alistair Linsell - Gentleman Adventurer!
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Gentleman-Adventurer-BCS-Digital-Revolutions/118053361589767
Thursday, 21 October 2010
Monday, 13 September 2010
I'm back!
Hello again Ladies and Gentlemen!I had a fantastic time out on the lost world project and learnt a few things about the conservation issues surrounding the mountain.
First thing- The Lost World isn't lost anymore!
Tourism is a big part of the local economy and over three thousand people climb Roraima every year. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. With the Venezuelan economy struggling at the moment tourism brings much needed commerce to the area. However at present the
infrastructure needed to manage this tourism is incomplete.
Second thing- Saving the Lost World is not rocket science.
There are several things which are relatively easy and will help conserve the area.
1) Build latrines at the campsites on the trekking route.
I mean seriously! How has this not been done yet?!?! Will 3000 people climbing Roraima every year latrines are a fairly obvious and essential piece of infrastructure that as yet has not been put in place. It's relatively cheap and simple and would make a world of difference. We climbed Roraima at the low season and let's just say things were unpleasant...
2) Tourists bring litter. If you go and visit (and I think it's a great place to go and see) then please, bring your litter back down with you.
This has been a huge problem, but recent litter drives have helped to improve the situation. These have tended to be organised by individuals on an ad-hock basis. With a little funding this could be made a regular thing, but better still people could simply just not litter! Like I said. id you go, take your litter with you! (Or feel the wrath of a vexed gentleman...)
3) Tourists bring other things too...
There are a number of non-native plants that have been introduced near the "hotels" on Roraima. The typical ecosystem of the mountain is one of thirty million years ago and is very
delicate. If allowed to take hold the introduced new species could displace the unique wildlife on the plateau... and this would be pretty rubbish.
A simple expedition with some trained botanists could help remove these non native species whilst leaving the endemic wildlife. However Venezuelans do not like outsiders telling them what to do and the local Pemon Indians do not like people destroying the plant life, and as yet most of them can't tell the difference between native and introduced plant life.
Third Thing- The mountain spans three countries and as such things are politically... interesting.
The route up is in Venezuela, but the mountain is the triple border point with Brazil and Guyana. Venezuela currently disputes the Schomburg line which marks the border with Guyana and believes that it should own half of Guyana. Not only this, but the Venezuelan government gave the land in the area to the local Pemon people sometime ago so the area is now officially their land. This means the Venezuelan government tends not to get involved with the area as it sees it at the local peoples responsibility. Couple this with the Venezuelans dislike of foreigners telling them what to do and you have a situation that is pretty difficult.
In all honesty I'm not sure how best to move things forwards, but it probably involves some kind of education and outreach plan with the local people and tribal elders. UNESCO also has plans for a tri-national park covering the area and this could be a good way of getting all three governments to work together to protect the area.
So,
Whilst the political situation is a little tricky there are some very simple things that would make a huge difference. So if you thought of donating to the project but didn't quite find the time then you can still donate at
Finally I'd just like to say a huge thankyou to you all!
The support I've received from you guys has been phenomenal! There have been loads of donations, and no small amount from people I have never met. If you are one of those people and you're ever in Gloucestershire (or even the UK!) then do let me know as I'd love to buy you a drink.
A few quick shout outs- First http://conserveme.org/ is a conservation and science engagement business set up by the lovely Shelley Rowley, a fellow LWP participant. Secondly Ibex Earth do check out their facebook page as they will have more photos and information about the project.
There will still be updates about the documentary (look out for a slot on the BBC in december called "A Decade of Discovery"), more photos, footage I shot, and other things. But the main mission is done and I thankyou all for the parts you played in getting me there.
Alistair
Thursday, 15 July 2010
SNOWDON
So, after the incredibly wet and cold first attempt to climb Snowdon I was back.
It was time to get clever about this. Having checked the Met Office forecast, Thursday seemed the best day to
We ascended into the clouds. though they weren't the dark clouds of our previous attempt but the kind of cloud that still gives the impression of there being a sun in the sky.
And I was considerably more waterproof!
It was time to get clever about this. Having checked the Met Office forecast, Thursday seemed the best day to climb Snowdon. Rain in the morning but clearing up later. Having waxed my boots, I kitted myself out in my finest waterproof trousers and coat, and many layers of fleece I was ready for this.
We changed tactics from last time opting for the miners track, over the Pig track which had been so chillingly windy the last time, this followed the valley floor and we planned to creep in under the wind and weather
then take the steep climb to the top.
With all of the fellows that previously accompanied me in Sweden, dissertation hell and suffering from asthma I had the pleasure of being accompanied by Joseph Munns Esq!
Having driven through a very rainy England and a very cloudy Wales our hopes of a dry and easy climb were not high. However when we pulled into the Pen-y-Pass car park it wasn't raining, though Snowdon's peak was hidden in the clouds.
We set of at a brisk pace and the visibility was good enough to actually see the view! Wales has a very pretty landscape when you can actually see it! The only part of the weather that was particularly worrisome was the wind. Gusts would come down when the wind was quite tranquil and this would catch you unawares and threaten to blow you off your feet. With most of the track being broken rock there were some interesting moments of leaping from one foot hold to another to avoid a broken ankle.
Progress was good and It wasn't long before we found ourselves at the point where we had been forced to turn back last time. The going was good! It hadn't rained! Though the peak was still shrouded in cloud.
We ascended into the clouds. though they weren't the dark clouds of our previous attempt but the kind of cloud that still gives the impression of there being a sun in the sky.Up on the ridge to the peak the wind whipped up, and though it wasn't raining, the clouds we were walking through were condensing on us.
Finally out of the mists loomed a stone staircase and at the top a huge cairn, taller than two men.
The summit of Snowdon!
So we had a spot of tea in the clouds and wind.
And so, like Sir Everard im Thurn had been forced to turn back but succeeded on the later attempt. So had I with Snowdon!
So this means all gentlemanly tasks are now complete!
Tea on Snowdon
If you'd like to donate, then here's the link!
Which just leaves my final thoughts on this subject
Friday, 9 July 2010
Thursday, 1 July 2010
Current highlights!
Hello there!
New to the blog? Here is a list of current highlights!
Interested in donating to help protect the lost world? Click here!
Do have a look around!
Alistair Linsell - Gentleman Adventurer!
Sunday, 27 June 2010
Third and final Rate My Hat!
With less than a month left of fundraising things are hotting up!
Firstly!
You voted for a duel on Tower Bridge!
And you shall have one! (I shall do my best not to get arrested...)
Secondly!
Snowdon will be conquered! Come hell or high water!
Thirdly get on and Rate My Hat!
The Panama
The Fedora
Many thanks to Heselden Hats of Faversham
Finally I a request from someone trying to become Dr X and study anger! Remember the more villains there are the more interesting life gets for adventurers.
----------
Miss Kate Cross
Durham University
Dear Mr. Linsell, Esq.
Firstly, I wish you well with your endeavours as a gentleman adventurer! Your blog is indeed marvellous and I look forward to the next post with great enthusiasm. Being a researcher called Cross who is studying anger, I appreciate a good bit of science-comedy juxtaposition. I'm also really looking forward to being able to write my name as Dr X...
Which brings me to the purpose of this little missive! I am nearing the end of my PhD and making one final push for data collection. I've been asking, begging, cajoling, grovelling, entreating, beseeching, and imploring (I've even been known to supplicate a little) as many people as possible to take a few moments to fill out my questionnaire about angry behaviour
...which is here: http://face.dur.ac.uk/expt/lgb/09/kate/
Each participant brings me closer to finishing my thesis! I'm hoping that some of the marvellous folk who follow your blog might be willing to fill out said questionnaire, thus earning:
b) The knowledge that they have helped to create... Dr X!
Gratefully,
Kate Cross
Thursday, 17 June 2010
FOR SCIENCE!
Well it's been a dashed busy week!
I have been volunteering at the Cheltenham Science Festival. Will 22,000 people coming to the festival it was a busy and sometimes hectic event, but ultimately a huge amount of fun! In and amongst the directing crowds of school children, manning the audio visual desks in events, I got to meet the Physicist Jim Al-Khalili , Robert Llewellyn (Yep, from Red Dwarf), the science editor for The Times, and The Minister for Science and Universities, David Willets.
The Science Minister was very enthusiastic and a big fan of getting children into Science and engineering. Just how raising tuition fees will achieve this he didn't quite specify...
He's also not a fan of the metric system.
The festival had me at my most gentlemanly, be it directing elderly ladies to venues, helping small children, or schmoozing at the Hotel du Vin. It was also a great opportunity to meet up with people from FameLab, a science communication competition I did last year. For those of you who I said I would tell when I put the three minute wonder on youtube - here it is.
It's been all emails ago this afternoon and hopefully Tower Bridge will say yes to the duel.
Fingers crossed!
Afraid I have to go now, I'm off to investigate a necropolis this weekend.
Your's sincerely,
Alistair Linsell - Gentleman Adventurer!
Sunday, 30 May 2010
The Third Challenge
Ladies and Gentlemen,
The time has come for you to have your say, but first a very quick update on Mt Roraima.
It is always the case that about two thirds of the way through any great adventure the stakes are raised, and this adventure is no different.
In addition to the threats of unregulated tourism, gold mining, the introduction of foreign plant and animal species, there are now large scale hydroelectric dam projects, several planned new bauxite mines and the Venezuelan government is considering constructing a huge road network that will cut through the heart of the table top mountains surrounding Mt Roraima.
Unless sustainable infrastructure is put in place then this development poses a grave threat to the fragile and ancient ecosystem of Mt Roraima.
I know there are many worthy causes to support, but if you can make a donation, however small then you will have helped to protect one of the most ancient and unique places on the planet.
And I think that's pretty special.
Now! On to the Challenges!
The three options to vote for are:
1) A Grand tour of Britain!
In which I must have my photo taken next to several British landmarks, such as Tower Bridge, Stonehenge, HMS Victory, Big Ben, Dover cliffs, The Angel of the North, The SS Great Britain,
(Just remember, what goes on on grand tour, stays on grand tour!)
2) Fight a duel atop Tower Bridge, London!
And try not to get arrested in the process!
3) Suited skydiving!
A SOLO static line jump from 3000ft in gentleman's finery. After all, there are no tandem jumps when your bailing out of an aircraft! (Have no fear about any extra costs as I shall sort this out myself)
Do get involved and VOTE!
Voting closes on midnight Saturday GMT 5/6/10
Monday, 17 May 2010
Response from Buckingham Palace!
Ladies and gentlemen,
You may remember that as part of my gentleman adventuring I have written to Her Majesty the Queen, informing her of my endeavours.
Well, you may be pleased to hear I have received a response!
Now, Her Majesty has neither given nor denied her permission to publish the letter here; so I have decided not to put the whole letter up here, but not to keep the contents a secret either.
Her Majesty cannot officially comment on, well just about anything in the letter I sent her. This was to be expected because if she was to respond to me she would set a precedent for every tall, slightly mad fund-raiser to initiate personal correspondence with her. With regards to her favourite tea, the palace doesn't reveal Her Majesty's favourite tea as she would the see it every where she went! Can't fault their logic there.
However, whilst the letter was almost entirely neutral there were two points which I could take comfort from. Firstly,
"The Queen has asked me to thank you for your letter of the 25th of February..."
So my letter did make it to Her Majesty and I have her thanks for it. So I'll send her another!
And secondly,
"I am sorry to send you this disappointing reply, but may I take this opportunity to send you my best wishes for every success with your fund-raising efforts. Yours sincerely Mrs Sonia Bonici - Senior Correspondence Officer"
So I have the best wishes of the Senior Correspondence Officer of Buckingham Palace!
Jolly good!
There is another rate my hat on the way and an update on fund-raising and a new threat Mt Roraima. These will be along shortly! Stay tuned, and if your so inclined then all donations are most welcome!
Monday, 3 May 2010
The Mystery of Fortnum and Mason
Having just left Burlington House, home of the Royal Society of Chemistry, myself and the good Miss Logan headed across the road to Fortnum and Mason, noted purveyor of all things both well made and British.
For those of you that haven't been it is a huge store, spread over five levels, selling all manner of things. From hampers to walking canes, from crystal to brandy, from suitcases to braces. We examined a floor plan and I was particularly taken with level three.
We made our way up in one of the oak panelled elevators and found the most wondrous array of all the accessories a gentleman adventurer could possibly need. Writing implements, globes, telescopes, compasses, hour glasses, braces, dressing gowns, pyjamas, mirrors, walking canes, hats (though not as may as I would have preferred), leather suitcases and a veritable cornucopia of assorted gentlemanly paraphernalia.
Indeed a considerable amount of time was spent admiring the trinkets on display. Finally, having sated our appetite for level three we returned to the floor plan and continued to explore the store, climbing between the levels on the red carpeted oak staircases.
One item did rather stick out on the floor plan. On level four (of which I'm sorry to say I did not get a photo of) was listed "The St James' Restaurant", "The Burlington Room", and "The Drawing Room (by invitation only)".
Myself and Miss Logan were intrigued. How exactly does one acquire an invitation to the drawing room? We pondered this for a few moments and then decided it best to ask one of the many attendants that occupy the various levels of Fortum and Mason. These fine gentlemen can be easily distinguished by their cyan ties and long black tailcoats. I was feeling suitably dressed in my coat and waistcoat, my hat was removed, and so I approached one of the gentlemen.
"Excuse me."
"Yes Sir, How can I help Sir?"
"I noticed on your floor plan you list 'The Drawing Room' and that it is by invitation only. I was merely curious as to what one has to do to merit an invitation."
"The Drawing room sir?"
"Yes."
"Can't say I've heard of it Sir."
"Really?"
"No Sir."
"It is listed on your floor plan."
"I'm afraid I've never heard of it Sir."
Curious.
Perhaps someone else knew about it. So myself and Miss Logan headed off in search of another of the tailcoated assistants.
"The Drawing Room?"
"Yes!"
"I never knew we had such a place."
Hmm...
For those of you that haven't been it is a huge store, spread over five levels, selling all manner of things. From hampers to walking canes, from crystal to brandy, from suitcases to braces. We examined a floor plan and I was particularly taken with level three.
We made our way up in one of the oak panelled elevators and found the most wondrous array of all the accessories a gentleman adventurer could possibly need. Writing implements, globes, telescopes, compasses, hour glasses, braces, dressing gowns, pyjamas, mirrors, walking canes, hats (though not as may as I would have preferred), leather suitcases and a veritable cornucopia of assorted gentlemanly paraphernalia.Indeed a considerable amount of time was spent admiring the trinkets on display. Finally, having sated our appetite for level three we returned to the floor plan and continued to explore the store, climbing between the levels on the red carpeted oak staircases.
One item did rather stick out on the floor plan. On level four (of which I'm sorry to say I did not get a photo of) was listed "The St James' Restaurant", "The Burlington Room", and "The Drawing Room (by invitation only)".
Myself and Miss Logan were intrigued. How exactly does one acquire an invitation to the drawing room? We pondered this for a few moments and then decided it best to ask one of the many attendants that occupy the various levels of Fortum and Mason. These fine gentlemen can be easily distinguished by their cyan ties and long black tailcoats. I was feeling suitably dressed in my coat and waistcoat, my hat was removed, and so I approached one of the gentlemen.
"Excuse me."
"Yes Sir, How can I help Sir?"
"I noticed on your floor plan you list 'The Drawing Room' and that it is by invitation only. I was merely curious as to what one has to do to merit an invitation."
"The Drawing room sir?"
"Yes."
"Can't say I've heard of it Sir."
"Really?"
"No Sir."
"It is listed on your floor plan."
"I'm afraid I've never heard of it Sir."
Curious.
Perhaps someone else knew about it. So myself and Miss Logan headed off in search of another of the tailcoated assistants.
"The Drawing Room?"
"Yes!"
"I never knew we had such a place."
Hmm...
We asked another, and another, and another. None of them seemed to know of the drawing room. This was most odd. Either there was a mysterious room, that had inserted itself into the store and mind wiped all those that worked there, or we were poking our noses into a deadly conspiracy. It's quite probable that while we were investigation an intercom was ringing somewhere on the fifth floor and a shadowy figure answered it in a gruff voice.
"What is it?"
"Sir, some people are asking questions about the drawing room."
Slight pause.
"Deal with them."
By this point myself and Miss Logan were working our way round the staff in the wines and spirits section at the very bottom of the store in the basement. I was casting my eye over the assembled liquors which featured several bottles which I had never seen before. I turned back to Miss Logan, but she had vanished. I cast an eye over the shop floor. There were a few customers, a couple of assistants in tailcoats conversing at the counter, and then my eye was drawn to a small doorway. A velvet rope had been pulled aside and above the door hung a sign, in ominous Gothic writing, bearing the words "The Crypt".
Slipping past the attendants I made my way down a narrow staircase before emerging in a small room. The walls were stacked high with bottles of every kind. You know the potions room from Shrek 2? Like that. On lop of the bottle laden cabinets that were set against the walls stood bottles of champagne the size of children! Miss Logan had indeed found her way down into the Crypt and fortunately was not tied to an altar or at gun point or any similar nuisance. In addition to her was a store attendant and a tall portly customer who was in the process of a tasting.
We made ourselves scarce, perusing the bottles as if we may actually have had the money to afford one. The oldest we came across was a bottle of brandy from 1865. It didn't have a price tag.
The tasting was completed, the customer left and the attendant turned to us.
"Is there anything I can help your with?"
"Yes." replied Miss Logan, "We want to know how one gets an invitation to the drawing room."
The assistant replied "The Drawing room? Ina ll my nine years of working here I've never heard of it."
But his eyes told a different story, one look said it all, it said
"Go. Go now. You have little time. They are already coming for you. I wish I could help but they'll kill me for talking to you! You have to get out! Only then can you hope to unravel this!"
He had very expressive eyes.
"Well, I must be going." he said.
"Indeed." I replied, "We have a train to catch."
With that we strode confidently but quickly out of the store. High up on level five the intercom rang.
"Sir. They've escaped."
"Don't worry." replied the gruff shadowy figure, "This one writes an internet blog. That should tell us all we need to know."
And with that, he reclined into his chair cackling.
Apologies that it's been a while since updating! Also apologies to keep you waiting on the response from the palace! I will get around to that soon!
Tuesday, 20 April 2010
The Royal Society of Chemistry
Hello and welcome! or welcome back! If your wondering what this is all about click here!
Things have been progressing rapidly! There have been several recent developments which have been all rather exciting!
The first of these was attending a lecture at the Royal Society of Chemistry. With the meeting starting at eleven o’clock, peak time train fares being extortionately priced and myself travelling from Gloucestershire it was a race against time to make sure I was not late.
I found myself in Paddington station at 10.37 giving me about twenty minutes to get across London to Burlington House on Piccadilly. Striding briskly into the underground I took the Bakerloo line to Piccadilly Circus which google maps had informed me the Royal Society of Chemistry was situated almost directly above.
I arrived in Piccadilly Circus with about three minutes to spare. It would be tight, but I would just about make it. I strode out of the underground, crossed the street, rounded a corner and was confronted with … an HMV. Unless the RSC was using HMV as a front organisation then that meant only one thing.
I was in the wrong place.
Dash and blast! I remembered from my research that the Royal Society of Geography was also in a Burlington house and that this was quite probably the same one. With time slipping rapidly away I hopped onto the underground and took it one stop to Green Park because that was where I had directions from and made my way up Piccadilly. Burlington house is a very large and impressive building and difficult to miss. It also had a large banner with “The Royal Society of Chemistry” emblazoned upon it, which was rather comforting.
I strode in, past the queue of visitors for an exhibition on Van Gough in the Royal Academy of Arts and into the Royal Society of Chemistry.
I signed in with the receptionist who had the most extraordinarily perfect, cut glass, English accent.“The meeting is just through there. There’s a cloak room for you to leave your hat and coat.”
A place to leave my hat? Excellent.
I left my hat and coat, pulled myself together, and half an hour later than planned, I stepped into the Fish room. A young, tall woman with dark hair was explaining an incredibly complex diagram displayed on the largest flat screen TV I have ever seen. I slipped myself into a seat at the back and tried to look knowledgeable, or at least, like I had a vague idea of what was going on.
The whole meeting was on radiochemistry. This particular aspect was using radioactive isotopes to understand how a certain compound controlled a certain biological pathway. I didn’t understand it all, but from what I did it seemed rather clever.
There were talks on a variety of topics including using bacteria in dealing with contaminated land in Sellafield, a UK nuclear site, what happens to the uranium used in depleted uranium munitions, (after they’ve been fired), and analysing and regulating radioactive gas. It all sounds a little bit scary but the fact that people are, some would say at last, conducting research into this kind of thing can only be a good thing. After an excellent lunch, (in which I met up with the delightful Miss Logan, my girlfriend, who had been researching ancient Arcadian cylinders in the British Museum), there were some more talks, the prize ultimately being awarded to a young lady working on the mobility of Strontium in contaminated ground water.
And with that my visit to the Royal Society of Chemistry was concluded.
There's quite a bit coming up in the next few weeks, after leaving the Royal Society of Chemistry myself and Miss Logan uncovered a mystery in that iconic purveyor of gentleman's accessories Fortnum and Mason. There is also a new edition of "Rate My Hat!" coming up soon.
Plus upon returning to Durham I found a rather interesting letter, addressed to myself, bearing the Royal seal... Stay Tuned!
Sunday, 11 April 2010
"Rate My Hat!" Round two- Mayser vs Conte of Florence
It's back!
Rate my hat two - Swiss edition!
I haven't been able to find out the names of these two hats, only the companies that make them, so there will be PRIZES for anyone who can prove they know the names of these two hats!
Up first the Conte of Florence-
Second, the Mayser-
Go ahead and RATE MY HAT!
Rate my hat two - Swiss edition!
I haven't been able to find out the names of these two hats, only the companies that make them, so there will be PRIZES for anyone who can prove they know the names of these two hats!
Up first the Conte of Florence-
Second, the Mayser-
Go ahead and RATE MY HAT!
Saturday, 3 April 2010
Snowdon - part 3
The path was climbing steadily to the ridge that would lead us to the peak and with it the wind and rain were, somehow, intensifying further still.
"Guys, this is getting stupid" said Mr Munns.
"Yes! We know!" I replied cackling in a manner that must have been slightly disconcerting.
"No, this is getting really stupid, as in dangerous. I think we should turn back."
You know The fellowship of the ring? Where Gandalf is trying to lead them across the mountain? It was like that. Only minus the battling wizards. And with the addition of bowler hats. And so, like Gandalf, I cried
"No!"
And we tried to struggle on against the elements.We made it only a few metres further before a huge gust of wind caught the Union Jack held in Mr Munns back pack and pulled him off balance I managed to grab him and pull him back onto the path.
"I am not happy guys!" cried Mr Munns,
"We're so close! We must be near the top now!" I replied.
"This is actually dangerous! We need to turn back!"
"You know in stories where the heroes encounter moment of where all appears to be lost? This is that moment!"
Mr Munns paused.
"Damn you!"
We turned to carry on when out of the mists appeared a figure. Dim at first the coming into view. It was a man dressed in full Arctic gear. He was clad in full waterproofing, his head clad in a mountaineering helmet and in his hand he held the pole and curved blade of an ice axe. This man was ready for anything. Apart from sunshine.
"How far are we from the top now?" asked Mr Munns.
The man turned to answer, slipped on the rain soaked rocks, regained his balance before replying.
"Your not far now. Thirty minutes to the top I'd say."
Thirty minutes! We could do that! Sure the conditions were atrocious, the wind blowing harder than ever and the snow obscuring the pathway, but that was within the realms of possibility!
"What's the weather like up there?" asked Mr Munns.
The man in the Arctic gear thought for a second.
"The wind is bad. Not quite blowing you off your feet but close."
"Worse than here?" I asked.
"Yes."
Ah.
"The snow?" I asked.
"It gets a lot worse than here."
Oh.
"So what do you reckon?"
The man paused before replying, it was as if he was aware of the dramatic tension he was providing. Finally he said
"It's pretty bad."
Now you have to bear in mind that this is coming from a man who is dressed for surviving an ice age. A man like this probably has a different definition of "pretty bad" to you or I.
Mr Munns turned to me.
"We should take tea here then head back."
I had to agree with him. Whilst Scott of the Antarctic is one of the most legendary heroes in British history he is also dead. I can't say I fancied joining him.
We dashed into the shelter of a huge rock. Pulled the teapot from the rucksack and hurriedly searched for the tea. Mr Bridges attempted to light his gas stove but to no avail. We threw two tea bags into the pot followed swiftly by the thermos of hot water that was substantially cooler than it had been to start with. Decorum was thrown to the (still raging) wind as we shook the tea pot roughly to speed up the brewing. Milk was grabbed and tea was drunk.
The tea was good. The warmth of it made it apparent just how cold we had become. We drank it quickly. It was now the plan to get of this mountain as fast as possible.
But Mr Booker had a surprise in store for us
"I had hoped to read this on the top, but this will have to do."
And from his pockets he pulled a sodden copy of the soliloquy from Hamlet from his pocket and started to read.
"To be, or not to be, that is the question. Whether it is..."
The rain was hammering down on the paper and the ink was running everywhere.
"...or to take arms against a sea of troubles..."
The wind was now ripping chunks out of the paper and sucking away off the mountain.
"Erm... odds, bodkins..."
The paper now disintegrated in his hands and vanished off on the wind. He turned to us
"I bid you adieu!"
And with that he headed off down the mountain.
It was a moment I will always treasure.
And with that we headed off down the mountain. I have to admit I was in a dark mood. Yes tea had been taken on snowdon. But not as I had planned at all. It was not from a china set, it was not at the top, there had been no cake, Earl Grey had been sacrificed for a stronger Assam.
It crossed my mind to claim that the photo you saw was of us on the top and the china tea set was out of view. But then you would not be a sponsoring gentleman adventurer you would be sponsoring a gentleman poser, a gentleman fraud, a charlatan. And that I am not.
The truth is that whilst this could be argued to be a success, it was also in part a failure. As we reached the standing stone that indicated the miners track I vowed that I would return! I made my way down the mountain. How was I going to explain this to the BBC? to the Queen? to you? How could I hope to join the ranks of Sir Everard im Thurn?
Hold on.
Something stirred in my mind. Sir Everard im Thurn! He had had to make two attempts on Mt Roraima! I remembered it from his account to the Royal Geographical society in 1885! And it was at this point that I underwent a little bit of what writers call "character development". It's not that adventurers don't encounter failure. They do! It's how they respond to it that makes them adventurers!
So, Snowden may have won/drawn the first round. But I will be back!
I vowed to get the top hat back, and I did, now I vow to return, to take the tea properly!
Yours sincerely,
Alistair Linsell- Gentleman Adventurer!
No updates for a week as I'm off skiing! Though soon after we shall see how I get by with challenge two at the Royal Society Of Chemistry!
"Guys, this is getting stupid" said Mr Munns.
"Yes! We know!" I replied cackling in a manner that must have been slightly disconcerting.
"No, this is getting really stupid, as in dangerous. I think we should turn back."
You know The fellowship of the ring? Where Gandalf is trying to lead them across the mountain? It was like that. Only minus the battling wizards. And with the addition of bowler hats. And so, like Gandalf, I cried
"No!"
And we tried to struggle on against the elements.We made it only a few metres further before a huge gust of wind caught the Union Jack held in Mr Munns back pack and pulled him off balance I managed to grab him and pull him back onto the path.
"I am not happy guys!" cried Mr Munns,
"We're so close! We must be near the top now!" I replied.
"This is actually dangerous! We need to turn back!"
"You know in stories where the heroes encounter moment of where all appears to be lost? This is that moment!"
Mr Munns paused.
"Damn you!"
We turned to carry on when out of the mists appeared a figure. Dim at first the coming into view. It was a man dressed in full Arctic gear. He was clad in full waterproofing, his head clad in a mountaineering helmet and in his hand he held the pole and curved blade of an ice axe. This man was ready for anything. Apart from sunshine.
"How far are we from the top now?" asked Mr Munns.
The man turned to answer, slipped on the rain soaked rocks, regained his balance before replying.
"Your not far now. Thirty minutes to the top I'd say."
Thirty minutes! We could do that! Sure the conditions were atrocious, the wind blowing harder than ever and the snow obscuring the pathway, but that was within the realms of possibility!
"What's the weather like up there?" asked Mr Munns.
The man in the Arctic gear thought for a second.
"The wind is bad. Not quite blowing you off your feet but close."
"Worse than here?" I asked.
"Yes."
Ah.
"The snow?" I asked.
"It gets a lot worse than here."
Oh.
"So what do you reckon?"
The man paused before replying, it was as if he was aware of the dramatic tension he was providing. Finally he said
"It's pretty bad."
Now you have to bear in mind that this is coming from a man who is dressed for surviving an ice age. A man like this probably has a different definition of "pretty bad" to you or I.
Mr Munns turned to me.
"We should take tea here then head back."
I had to agree with him. Whilst Scott of the Antarctic is one of the most legendary heroes in British history he is also dead. I can't say I fancied joining him.
We dashed into the shelter of a huge rock. Pulled the teapot from the rucksack and hurriedly searched for the tea. Mr Bridges attempted to light his gas stove but to no avail. We threw two tea bags into the pot followed swiftly by the thermos of hot water that was substantially cooler than it had been to start with. Decorum was thrown to the (still raging) wind as we shook the tea pot roughly to speed up the brewing. Milk was grabbed and tea was drunk.
The tea was good. The warmth of it made it apparent just how cold we had become. We drank it quickly. It was now the plan to get of this mountain as fast as possible.
But Mr Booker had a surprise in store for us
"I had hoped to read this on the top, but this will have to do."
And from his pockets he pulled a sodden copy of the soliloquy from Hamlet from his pocket and started to read.
"To be, or not to be, that is the question. Whether it is..."
The rain was hammering down on the paper and the ink was running everywhere.
"...or to take arms against a sea of troubles..."
The wind was now ripping chunks out of the paper and sucking away off the mountain.
"Erm... odds, bodkins..."
The paper now disintegrated in his hands and vanished off on the wind. He turned to us
"I bid you adieu!"
And with that he headed off down the mountain.
It was a moment I will always treasure.And with that we headed off down the mountain. I have to admit I was in a dark mood. Yes tea had been taken on snowdon. But not as I had planned at all. It was not from a china set, it was not at the top, there had been no cake, Earl Grey had been sacrificed for a stronger Assam.
It crossed my mind to claim that the photo you saw was of us on the top and the china tea set was out of view. But then you would not be a sponsoring gentleman adventurer you would be sponsoring a gentleman poser, a gentleman fraud, a charlatan. And that I am not.
The truth is that whilst this could be argued to be a success, it was also in part a failure. As we reached the standing stone that indicated the miners track I vowed that I would return! I made my way down the mountain. How was I going to explain this to the BBC? to the Queen? to you? How could I hope to join the ranks of Sir Everard im Thurn?
Hold on.
Something stirred in my mind. Sir Everard im Thurn! He had had to make two attempts on Mt Roraima! I remembered it from his account to the Royal Geographical society in 1885! And it was at this point that I underwent a little bit of what writers call "character development". It's not that adventurers don't encounter failure. They do! It's how they respond to it that makes them adventurers!
So, Snowden may have won/drawn the first round. But I will be back!
I vowed to get the top hat back, and I did, now I vow to return, to take the tea properly!
Yours sincerely,
Alistair Linsell- Gentleman Adventurer!
No updates for a week as I'm off skiing! Though soon after we shall see how I get by with challenge two at the Royal Society Of Chemistry!
Tuesday, 30 March 2010
Snowdon - part 2
So, yes it was drizzling, yes the visibility was poor, and yes we did appear to be the only people going up the mountain, but we were not deterred! Oh no!We passed several people going down the mountain (hats were tipped when greetings were exchanged) all of whom stared at us with a mixture of bewilderment and incredulity. Admittedly we were carrying a folding camp table, a union jack and we did have some one with no waterproofs with us. The rain had by this point soaked through my trousers and whenever I leaned forwards a small dribble of water did spill from the rim of my bowler hat. That said the going was reasonable, even when we passed the snow line.
We proceeded up the pig track for an hour, happy as Larry (assuming that Larry is a] quite happy and b] a little bit damp) until we ventured over a pass into the neighbouring valley. As we reached top the pass the wind suddenly stepped up. Previously there had been only a little wind but now it cut through us like something that's very good at cutting. A sabre, or an industrial laser, perhaps. We were unsure of which way to proceed but could not stop at the pass, so we pressed on hoping the wind would be less vicious away from it. However, the wind was only slightly calmer as we proceeded. This high wind was making things difficult as the table I was carrying was effectively turned into a small sail, sometimes pulling we backwards, other times pushing me forwards, and leaving me with very little choice in the matter. The rain was starting to soak up my cuffs and my coat (though "Waterproof") was starting to become sodden with the rain. I turned to Mr Bridges, a small stream of water flowing from my hat."This is ridiculous."
"Yes, yes it is" he replied.
We continued onwards.
It's very difficult to convey the conditions. I can see how you may think it tempting for me to exaggerate the conditions for dramatic effect, however I'd like to inform you that in this case, it's simply not necessary! In short the conditions were foul.
As time went by my boots joined my trousers which had been soaked for some time. The forearms of my shirt, jacket and coats soaked through entirely, and eventually the onslaught managed to soak through my bowler hat. Lord only knows how Mr A. Booker was coping given that he failed to bring a waterproof. In truth, everyone was soaked. It was at this point we had a rather discordant but non the less rousing chorus of "Rule Britannia" to lift our spirits. With the fire of patriotism burning in our chests and the Union Jack flying strongly in the wind we screwed up our courage to the sticking place, watched it fall off, realised the rain had washed off all the adhesive, then picked it back up and put it in our pockets.
We pressed on, the wind still vicious, the rain getting heavier, and the visibility worse. We staggered along the rain swept, stony path, trying to avoid looking down the steep fall to the left and trying to imagine what beautiful vistas were concealed behind the squally clouds.
"You know something?" said Mr Bridges.
"What?"
"This is officially the most stupid thing we have ever done."
For those of you that know us, you'll realise that's saying something.
The two of us the fell about in bouts of, slightly manic, laughter. For the reality of the situation was so comical that we couldn't help ourselves. Here we were, on a barren, windswept, rain soaked mountainside climbing up a mountain that you can climb by railway, purely so that we could take tea and a spot of cake on it! The humour of the situation was lost on Mr Munns who presumed that we had gone mad from exposure.
We carried, on at one point unknowingly leaving the designated path, as it was lost under the snow. We rejoined the path later and it was only then that we realised our error. The path was climbing steadily to the ridge that would lead us to the peak and with it the wind and rain were, somehow, intensifying further still.
"Guys, this is getting stupid" said Mr Munns.
"Yes! We know!" I replied cackling in a manner that must have been slightly disconcerting.
"No, this is getting really stupid, as in dangerous. I think we should turn back."
You know The fellowship of the ring? Where Gandalf is trying to lead them across the mountain? It was like that. Only minus the battling wizards. And with the addition of bowler hats.
And so, like Gandalf, I cried
"No!"
And we tried to struggle on against the elements.
Friday, 26 March 2010
Snowdon - part 1
Well, Snowden was WET.
And considerably more of an adventure than I was planning. I’m not going to lie, I had envisaged a quick stroll, in glorious weather, up a small incline, a nice spot of tea, then home in time for (more) tea and medals.
And considerably more of an adventure than I was planning. I’m not going to lie, I had envisaged a quick stroll, in glorious weather, up a small incline, a nice spot of tea, then home in time for (more) tea and medals.
Experienced mountaineers amongst you will notice that this plan was breaking one of the fundamental rules of mountaineering, that being, respect the mountain. So delightful though my plan was, Snowdon had other plans.
The weather was indeed glorious. Glorious in Gloucestershire, glorious in the Midlands, glorious even in Wales. As we approached Snowdon and the weather was still fine, the mountain clearly visible in front of us.
Mr Jack Munns Esq-
I really don't think that's Snowdon.
Mr Linsell-
Of course it is! It's mountainous isn't it?
Mr Jack Munns Esq-
By my map Snowdon should be just behind that mountain.
Mr Linsell-
I hardly think that likely, there's nothing behind that mountain but that large black cloud...
...ah. Well, this should be fun!
Indeed, lurking over Snowdon was a large and ominous, black cloud.
We arrived in the car park at the foot of the miners track and the pig track. We planned to take the pig track to the summit, then the miners track back down. After a quick spot of lunch the expedition party prepared for the ascent. As a quick reminder, the expedition party was composed of Mr Jack Munns Esq, noted physicist, Mr Tom Bridges Esq, noted actor, Mr Adam Booker Esq, noted restauranteur, and Mr Mark Booker Esq, noted model. Mr Adam Booker was demonstrating exceptional commitment as he had been working overnight for 11pm till 7 am, and had then jumped into the car to head to Snowdon at 9 am. This lack of sleep however may have had an adverse affect on Adam as he had neglected to bring a raincoat.
There were some slight spots of rain but we were not deterred as the party was gathered...
(From left to right - T. Bridges Esq, J. Munns Esq, A. Booker Esq, A. Linsell Esq. Photo by M. Booker Esq)
and then did ventured forth!
We set off, spirits high, up Snowdon. The spots of rain turned to drizzle and the table I had strapped to my back was slipping around. Yes, it was awkward, but the tea (earl grey and assam), china tea set, sandwiches (cucumber and smoked salmon) and cakes (ginger loaf and French fancies) we were carrying would need a proper support when we eventually took tea. We were also carrying a stove (optimistic), a thermos of hot water (realistic), and of course the Union Jack (patriotic)!
Little did we know how things were to proceed...
It's a good tale, and it deserves to be told properly come back next time for Snowden - Part 2!
Friday, 19 March 2010
So what's this all in aid of?
What ho!
Welcome to the Challenge a Gentleman Adventurer blog! If your new here then this letter to Her Majesty the Queen will probably explain what is going on. If you're on facebook then do join the group! Oh, and please do "Rate My Hat!".
Further hat related news, I have now tipped my hat at a passing hearse and removed it inside a place of worship! The etiquette has yet to get the better of me.
So, you may be wondering why I'm raising money and what all this money will go towards.
In short, the money raised will go towards getting Mt Roraima in Venezuela, also known as the lost world, UNESCO World heritage status as well as twelve charities.
Mt Roraima is a table top mountain that is surrounded on all sides by 600 metre cliffs. The ecosystem is that of South America 30 million years ago and is not found anywhere else on earth. This mountain has a whole host of species that are unique to it such as carnivorous pitcher plants, that catch and digest insects and other small animals, as well as spectacular "living fossils", species that have persisted unchanged over millions of years atop this mountain. New species continue to be discovered there which I think is pretty dashed cool! The mountain is also host to echo locating birds that live in a deep sink hole known as "The Pit".
Atop Mt Roraima there are also spectacular geoplogical formations. Valleys of crystals, strange cloud-like rock forms, streams lined with blood red jasper, and some of the tallest waterfalls on earth. In short it's a mountain with a considerably high concentration of awesome things.
So what does the money go towards? Well the thing about awesome things is that people want to go and visit them. In my opinion travelling is a fantastic experience and certainly a worth while one. However the problem with Mt Roraima is that tourism is not properly managed. Foreign species have been introduced and this threatens to upset this delicate and ancient ecosystem. I am I saying don't go? Certainly not! (It would be rather hypocritical of me to try to get your support to send me there, only to turn round and say don't visit yourself!) What I am saying is that the tourism this fantastic site attracts must be responsibly managed. Another threat to Mt Roraima is mining. Having the mountain classified as a UNESCO world heritage site would help protect against these threats.
So if you like awesome things, and like keeping awesome things awesome, then please do donate a few pounds to help protect this truly fantastic lost world!
Yours sincerely,
Alistair Linsell- Gentleman Adventurer!
Welcome to the Challenge a Gentleman Adventurer blog! If your new here then this letter to Her Majesty the Queen will probably explain what is going on. If you're on facebook then do join the group! Oh, and please do "Rate My Hat!".
Further hat related news, I have now tipped my hat at a passing hearse and removed it inside a place of worship! The etiquette has yet to get the better of me.
So, you may be wondering why I'm raising money and what all this money will go towards.
In short, the money raised will go towards getting Mt Roraima in Venezuela, also known as the lost world, UNESCO World heritage status as well as twelve charities.
Mt Roraima is a table top mountain that is surrounded on all sides by 600 metre cliffs. The ecosystem is that of South America 30 million years ago and is not found anywhere else on earth. This mountain has a whole host of species that are unique to it such as carnivorous pitcher plants, that catch and digest insects and other small animals, as well as spectacular "living fossils", species that have persisted unchanged over millions of years atop this mountain. New species continue to be discovered there which I think is pretty dashed cool! The mountain is also host to echo locating birds that live in a deep sink hole known as "The Pit".
Atop Mt Roraima there are also spectacular geoplogical formations. Valleys of crystals, strange cloud-like rock forms, streams lined with blood red jasper, and some of the tallest waterfalls on earth. In short it's a mountain with a considerably high concentration of awesome things.
So what does the money go towards? Well the thing about awesome things is that people want to go and visit them. In my opinion travelling is a fantastic experience and certainly a worth while one. However the problem with Mt Roraima is that tourism is not properly managed. Foreign species have been introduced and this threatens to upset this delicate and ancient ecosystem. I am I saying don't go? Certainly not! (It would be rather hypocritical of me to try to get your support to send me there, only to turn round and say don't visit yourself!) What I am saying is that the tourism this fantastic site attracts must be responsibly managed. Another threat to Mt Roraima is mining. Having the mountain classified as a UNESCO world heritage site would help protect against these threats.
So if you like awesome things, and like keeping awesome things awesome, then please do donate a few pounds to help protect this truly fantastic lost world!
Yours sincerely,
Alistair Linsell- Gentleman Adventurer!
Monday, 15 March 2010
"Rate My Hat!" Round one- Top hat vs Bowler hat
Friday, 12 March 2010
First Letter to Her Majesty the Queen!
What ho followers!
Behold the new and shiny "Challenge a Gentleman Adventurer" Blogspot!
Have no fear if you use Livejournal as the livejournal will update as usual! If you're new then here is the original announcement that explains what this is all about and do join the facebook group. If you want to make a donation click here!
Good news! My top hat has been returned safely!
I have acquired a camera and so the long awaited "Rate My Hat" will be with you on Monday.
Enjoy the letter, and enjoy the weekend,
Yours truly,
Alistair Linsell- Gentleman Adventurer!
------
Thursday 25th February 2010
Behold the new and shiny "Challenge a Gentleman Adventurer" Blogspot!
Have no fear if you use Livejournal as the livejournal will update as usual! If you're new then here is the original announcement that explains what this is all about and do join the facebook group. If you want to make a donation click here!
Good news! My top hat has been returned safely!
I have acquired a camera and so the long awaited "Rate My Hat" will be with you on Monday.
Enjoy the letter, and enjoy the weekend,
Yours truly,
Alistair Linsell- Gentleman Adventurer!
------
Thursday 25th February 2010
Your Majesty,
If Your Majesty may permit me to introduce myself, I am Alistair Linsell- gentleman adventurer and your humble subject, and were I in front of you I assure you I would have taken off my hat. I am writing to inform you (as all good gentleman adventurers should) of my current exciting exploits!
Allow me to elaborate a little. I am a young man of twenty one years of age currently studying the fascinating subject of chemistry at Durham University. I have a passion for science and thoroughly enjoy sharing that passion with the world.
I have entered a competition entitled “The Lost World Project”. The challenge is simple; to raise as much money as possible for twelve charities. The prize; to be part of an expedition to make a documentary on Mt Roraima, the mountain that inspired Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s novel “The Lost World”.
The lost world…
A plateau surrounded by sheer cliffs, the land from the Arthur Conan Doyle novel, the land described by its first explorer, Sir Everard Im Thurn as “some strange country of nightmares”. A land that is clearly not for the faint hearted and a unique land that is in need of protection.
To raise money for these charities, working to protect mount Roraima, and to put myself in the running for such a prize, I have resolved to become Alistair Linsell, Gentleman Adventurer, and undertake three sponsored tasks.
These tasks are thus-
I shall endeavour to attend a lecture at the royal society of chemistry (for all noted adventurers have some official body which they are affiliated to, from which they springboard their adventures). I shall endeavour to take tea, from a china tea set, on top of Snowdon (for there is no drink more civilised than tea, and where better to drink it than on top of a mountain). AND I shall endeavour to undertake a further challenge issued by the good people of the internet!
It may please Your Majesty to learn that things have gotten off to a terrific start! Thanks to a host of generous individuals we have already raised six hundred pounds. This has smashed my first target of five hundred pounds, and filled me with optimism for the venture! As such I have put out a second target of two thousand pounds.
I have established a group of one hundred and seventy five followers on the internet site Facebook, and these fine people have had no shortage of suggestions for the final challenge. Suggestions have ranged from jumping out of an aeroplane in gentleman finery, to duelling a noted swordsman, to wrestling a shark and surviving to tell the tale.
I have to say that the shark wrestling (and surviving) may be a bit too difficult for me, unless of course, it was a basking shark. However since they are peaceful animals, it simply would not be gentlemanly to randomly start a fight with a passing basking shark.
One other suggestion was to heist a famous jewel for sport and then return it. I don’t suppose Your Majesty could spare a few of the crown jewels could you ma’am?
… Actually, forget I mentioned it.
Perhaps Your Majesty has a suggestion for a challenge? Maybe there is a chandelier of Your Majesty’s which hasn’t been swung from recently, perhaps there has been a suspicious cloaked figure hanging around Westminster recently that require investigating, or perhaps Your Majesty simply would like a dashing twenty one year old to bring her a paper one morning.
I do have one question for Your Majesty, which is what is Your Majesty’s favourite tea? As we shall be taking tea on the top of Snowdon the tea leaf is an important consideration. Personally I’m an Assam man myself though I’m certainly interested in trying something new, does Your Majesty have a recommendation?
It has been a pleasure writing to Your Majesty. I shall write again soon with an update on my progress!
Your faithful subject,
Alistair Linsell- Gentleman Adventurer!
Adventuring in Oxford!
Well that was a dashed good weekend! I managed to break out of the freezing rain in Durham to visit the charming, and notably warmer, city of Oxford. For those of you that don’t know I have the honour of being in a sketch comedy troupe entitled “Heretical Productions”, and this weekend was a rather special one as it was our eighth show and more importantly, our first outside our home town of Stroud. And so it came to pass that I found myself, after a long day’s travel, in a pub not far from Oxford station with my good friend, and producer of the group, Miss Helena Venning, eating chips and drinking a pint of cider.
One thing that you don’t get in the north is a good selection of ciders (though you do get the chips) and so whilst we awaited the arrival of noted physicist/ninja warrior Mr Jack Munns and I enjoyed my cider. Mr Munns arrived presently and we retired to Miss Venning’s house, cooked ourselves an evening meal and discussed plans for the show which was to be performed the following evening.
The next day we were joined by the dashing Mr Bridges, a talented actor currently studying in the capital, and Mr Booker who manages a restaurant in Stroud. Why am I telling you this? Well it is these three fine gentlemen who have agreed to be part of the expedition to take tea on Mt Snowdon! Not only this, but Mr Booker had bought us all fetching new T-shirts and Mr Bridges had also brought me a bowler hat. I assure you that finer companions are hard if not impossible to come by.
After a fine lunch of bacon and sausage (in which Mr Booker made a right hash of cutting the loaf of bread) we had organised a set list and had vaguely remembered how most of the sketches went. With that it was off to the Oxford Brookes student union to run though the set with our talented technician Mr Joseph Munns (Erm… Mr Munns 2? Perhaps Master Munns to avoid confusion) and our pianist Mr Alex Howgego who is nothing short of a musical genius (He didn’t just get Grade 8 piano with a distinction. Oh no, he got a medal as well). The technical set up was fantastic with a selection of coloured lights and roving spotlights. I swear they must have had at least three steam generators to provide the power for such a lighting set up.
The show was a joint one between us and offshoot of “The Fortune Players” called “The Fortune Cookies” who were very attractive and singing cabaret in addition to looking very attractive. Time slipped by at such a rate that it wasn’t long before we were sheltering backstage (in the very nice changing rooms!) as the audience started to arrive and with them THE FEAR.
THE FEAR always seems to show up at some point during the Heretical Productions rehearsal/performance process. Perhaps one member has decided to have a lie in until two on the day of the show, or maybe another has decided they can fit both a driving test and a karate lesson in on the day of the show. One way or another THE FEAR always turns up eventually. In this case it was more the fact that we were doing a show to a new audience with about an afternoon’s rehearsal (a large chunk of which had been spent eating bacon).
THE FEAR was fortunately soothed by the fantastic singing of The Fortune Cookies as was the audience, which meant that when we finally went on they took a little warming up to get into the mood. However by the third scene we had just about found our groove and the audience were getting into the swing of things. When the show finally ended the applause from the audience let us know we had given them a good show.
Flushed with our success we spent the next hour in an excited blur talking to the audience, which includes our most dedicated fan, my mother, who had landed back from Burma an hour before we went on!
After the audience had left we retreated to a pub with The Fortune Cookies and proceeded to not only tear up the dance floor but also put it through an industrial blender.
Mr Linsell-
“Dashed good show Chaps”
Mr Munns-
“Indeed, good show all round!"
Mr Booker-
"Well I think it's mainly down to me since I am the funniest."
Mr Bridges-
"Err... Since when were you the funniest?"
Mr Booker-
"Since one of the girls told me I was."
Mr Linsell-
"Well, not wanting to brag but I had three girls tell me that I was the funniest."
Mr Booker-
"Really? Who?"
Mr Linsell-
"The tall blonde."
Mr Bridges-
"Really? She told me I was the funniest."
Mr Linsell-
"You don't think her motives are... you know..."
Mr Munns-
"You don't think she's... you know..."
Mr Booker-
"What?"
Mr Munns-
"You know... being forward."
Mr Linsell-
"I certainly hope not, I'm spoken for."
Mr Booker-
"I certainly hope so, because I'm not!"
Mr Bridges-
"Another drink?"
Mr Munns-
"Capital idea!"
And so after several rum and cokes, a considerable amount of dancing with an enthusiastic Chinese break dancer, one woman openly laughing at our dancing, and about six hours sleep I found myself leaving the house with my new bowler hat and a slight hangover, heading for a cafe and then the train station.
The etiquette was fairly easy going for the start. Walking along clearly the form was to be wearing my hat however I soon found myself at a bus stop.
Hmmmm....
Well it has the character of a room, so hat should be off, but it is outside and clearly a public place, so keep hat on. Then I spied a young woman at the bus stop. How exactly does one define "in the company of a lady"? I don't know her, though that said I am in a bus stop with her. Well if it were an elevator then I would remove it and I guess it's best to err on the side of being overly courteous. Hat off. Decision made. Zounds, I need a cup of tea.
The bus arrived (definitely has the character of a room- Hat still off) and dropped me at the Bottom of Cowley Road (Hat on). I was meeting my good friend Miss Pippa Bird for breakfast. I met her (Hat doffed and removed) and we retired to the tick tock cafe and I had a fry up as well as that all important cup of tea. It was good to catch up and time passed all to quickly. It was then back on to the bus (hat still off) until arriving at the train station (hat on).
Rail replacement services were running from Oxford to Banbury so I found myself in the queue for a coach standing next to a lady (hat off). That said it was dashed cold that morning and my hands were freezing to my new bowler hat. This certainly did not have the character of a room and certainly seemed to be a public concourse. Only difference was that we were standing still. Well I'll put it on unless she talks to me. Right, sorted. (Will breaks- hat back on)
"Nice Hat."
Damn. (hat off)
Boarded the bus (hat still off) and felt strangely awake and invigorated to be alive. Thoroughly enjoyed the bus ride then changed to the train at Banbury (Hat on then off). Managed to make my way back to Durham without any particular incident aside from standard indoor/outdoor hat removal/replacement.
Finally arrived home (hat off)
Letter to The Queen being drafted and proof read! (after all she is The Queen- sloppy grammar would be bad form) Watch this space!
One thing that you don’t get in the north is a good selection of ciders (though you do get the chips) and so whilst we awaited the arrival of noted physicist/ninja warrior Mr Jack Munns and I enjoyed my cider. Mr Munns arrived presently and we retired to Miss Venning’s house, cooked ourselves an evening meal and discussed plans for the show which was to be performed the following evening.
The next day we were joined by the dashing Mr Bridges, a talented actor currently studying in the capital, and Mr Booker who manages a restaurant in Stroud. Why am I telling you this? Well it is these three fine gentlemen who have agreed to be part of the expedition to take tea on Mt Snowdon! Not only this, but Mr Booker had bought us all fetching new T-shirts and Mr Bridges had also brought me a bowler hat. I assure you that finer companions are hard if not impossible to come by.
After a fine lunch of bacon and sausage (in which Mr Booker made a right hash of cutting the loaf of bread) we had organised a set list and had vaguely remembered how most of the sketches went. With that it was off to the Oxford Brookes student union to run though the set with our talented technician Mr Joseph Munns (Erm… Mr Munns 2? Perhaps Master Munns to avoid confusion) and our pianist Mr Alex Howgego who is nothing short of a musical genius (He didn’t just get Grade 8 piano with a distinction. Oh no, he got a medal as well). The technical set up was fantastic with a selection of coloured lights and roving spotlights. I swear they must have had at least three steam generators to provide the power for such a lighting set up.
The show was a joint one between us and offshoot of “The Fortune Players” called “The Fortune Cookies” who were very attractive and singing cabaret in addition to looking very attractive. Time slipped by at such a rate that it wasn’t long before we were sheltering backstage (in the very nice changing rooms!) as the audience started to arrive and with them THE FEAR.
THE FEAR always seems to show up at some point during the Heretical Productions rehearsal/performance process. Perhaps one member has decided to have a lie in until two on the day of the show, or maybe another has decided they can fit both a driving test and a karate lesson in on the day of the show. One way or another THE FEAR always turns up eventually. In this case it was more the fact that we were doing a show to a new audience with about an afternoon’s rehearsal (a large chunk of which had been spent eating bacon).
THE FEAR was fortunately soothed by the fantastic singing of The Fortune Cookies as was the audience, which meant that when we finally went on they took a little warming up to get into the mood. However by the third scene we had just about found our groove and the audience were getting into the swing of things. When the show finally ended the applause from the audience let us know we had given them a good show.
Flushed with our success we spent the next hour in an excited blur talking to the audience, which includes our most dedicated fan, my mother, who had landed back from Burma an hour before we went on!
After the audience had left we retreated to a pub with The Fortune Cookies and proceeded to not only tear up the dance floor but also put it through an industrial blender.
Mr Linsell-
“Dashed good show Chaps”
Mr Munns-
“Indeed, good show all round!"
Mr Booker-
"Well I think it's mainly down to me since I am the funniest."
Mr Bridges-
"Err... Since when were you the funniest?"
Mr Booker-
"Since one of the girls told me I was."
Mr Linsell-
"Well, not wanting to brag but I had three girls tell me that I was the funniest."
Mr Booker-
"Really? Who?"
Mr Linsell-
"The tall blonde."
Mr Bridges-
"Really? She told me I was the funniest."
Mr Linsell-
"You don't think her motives are... you know..."
Mr Munns-
"You don't think she's... you know..."
Mr Booker-
"What?"
Mr Munns-
"You know... being forward."
Mr Linsell-
"I certainly hope not, I'm spoken for."
Mr Booker-
"I certainly hope so, because I'm not!"
Mr Bridges-
"Another drink?"
Mr Munns-
"Capital idea!"
And so after several rum and cokes, a considerable amount of dancing with an enthusiastic Chinese break dancer, one woman openly laughing at our dancing, and about six hours sleep I found myself leaving the house with my new bowler hat and a slight hangover, heading for a cafe and then the train station.
The etiquette was fairly easy going for the start. Walking along clearly the form was to be wearing my hat however I soon found myself at a bus stop.
Hmmmm....
Well it has the character of a room, so hat should be off, but it is outside and clearly a public place, so keep hat on. Then I spied a young woman at the bus stop. How exactly does one define "in the company of a lady"? I don't know her, though that said I am in a bus stop with her. Well if it were an elevator then I would remove it and I guess it's best to err on the side of being overly courteous. Hat off. Decision made. Zounds, I need a cup of tea.
The bus arrived (definitely has the character of a room- Hat still off) and dropped me at the Bottom of Cowley Road (Hat on). I was meeting my good friend Miss Pippa Bird for breakfast. I met her (Hat doffed and removed) and we retired to the tick tock cafe and I had a fry up as well as that all important cup of tea. It was good to catch up and time passed all to quickly. It was then back on to the bus (hat still off) until arriving at the train station (hat on).
Rail replacement services were running from Oxford to Banbury so I found myself in the queue for a coach standing next to a lady (hat off). That said it was dashed cold that morning and my hands were freezing to my new bowler hat. This certainly did not have the character of a room and certainly seemed to be a public concourse. Only difference was that we were standing still. Well I'll put it on unless she talks to me. Right, sorted. (Will breaks- hat back on)
"Nice Hat."
Damn. (hat off)
Boarded the bus (hat still off) and felt strangely awake and invigorated to be alive. Thoroughly enjoyed the bus ride then changed to the train at Banbury (Hat on then off). Managed to make my way back to Durham without any particular incident aside from standard indoor/outdoor hat removal/replacement.
Finally arrived home (hat off)
Letter to The Queen being drafted and proof read! (after all she is The Queen- sloppy grammar would be bad form) Watch this space!
Expedition of Sir Everard im Thurn in 1884
What ho once again,
It’s a busy life being a gentleman adventurer indeed, what with the production of Sir Terry Pratchett’s “Guards! Guards!” culminating last week in four performances in Durham’s Assembly Rooms. It was a lot of fun and also raised something like £1800 for the orang-utan foundation, a charity that is working to protect, yes, you guessed it, orang-utans! For those of you that missed it it did feature myself in a rather dashing hat! (More on that soon!)
Unfortunately my top hat, due to be featured in “Rate My Hat!”, was roped into the production and has gone walkabouts. Have no fear though, I shall hunt it down! This I Vow. Then the day of hat related etiquette fun will go ahead!
Thanks to the marvels of modern technology I have been able to come across the original papers that Mr Everard im Thurn and Mr Harry Inness Perkins presented to the royal geographical society in 1885. This account was what inspired Sir Arthur Conan Doyle to write the classic adventure, “The Lost World”. Their accounts detail canoeing up the Potaro river, great waterfalls, sinking canoes, a variety of Indian tribes (Arekuna Indians – “good men and true”, Makusi Indians – “hospitable, obliging and generous”), Lonk “one of the finest and best Indians I have ever met”, swarms of sand flies, enchanting jasper bedded streams, a mysterious abandoned village and their rival Mr Siedl. Not to mention their ascent of Mt Roraima.
“The first impression was one of inability mentally to grasp such surroundings; the next that one was entering on some strange country of nightmares for which an appropriate and wildly fantastic landscape had been formed, some dreadful and stormy day, when, in their mid career, the broken and chaotic clouds had been stiffened in a single instant into stone.”
Mr im Thurn was clearly a gentleman adventurer as this quote from his trekking through the jungle clearly illustrates.
“… overhead, hang down numberless coiled and looped and tangled branches of trees, each ready to catch around the neck of the walker or at least, to sweep of his hat causing him to stop, to his great discomfort and the disturbance of his many burdens.”
Remove a gentleman adventurer’s hat and your just asking for trouble!
Back soon with details on my quest to recover my hat and on what the money being raised will be used for!
Yours truly,
Alistair Linsell- Gentleman Adventurer!
Etiquette and Hats
Well I say,
Things have got off to a rather tremendous start! The facebook group now stands at a rather tremendous one hundred and fifty five members, the challenges have come flooding in as have the recommendations of hats, and thanks to some very generous individuals we have reached thirteen percent of the first target of five hundred pounds! Thank you all for your noble generosity!
So, first and foremost, hats. There have been suggested a variety of hats, namely, the pith helmet, for that British explorer look, the bowler, for the city gent look, the fedora, for Indiana Jones style jungle venturing, the homburg, apparently rated just below the top hat and above the bowler and fedora in terms of formality, and finally a rather dashing bonnet…
I am delighted to inform you that I have received a top hat as a gift and this has paved the way for the first instalment of “Rate My Hat!” which will be with you shortly!
In addition to this I have been reading about the etiquette surrounding hats, and there’s a great deal to it. I shall be wearing my hat around town shortly and trying my best to conform to the etiquette, will I succeed in being the most charming and courteous hatted gentleman in Durham or will there be some kind of dread full faux pas resulting in my exclusion from all but the most bass of social circles. We’ll find out next tuesday!
The rules I shall try to be adhering to are here for your delectation,
http://www.askandyaboutclothes.com/Cloth
However should you be knowledgeable in the wearing (and indeed not wearing) of hats and take umbrage with the rules do let me know.
A veritable swarm of challenges have come flooding in ranging from leaping out of aeroplanes, to photographic scavenger forays, to botanical battles against invasive species. Do keep suggesting ideas. And if any of you have an inflatable shark, or indeed a shark costume, do get in touch…
With such exciting progress it is almost time to send word to her majesty!
Back soon with “Rate My Hat!” and of course details of the first ever ascent of Mt Roraima by Mr Everard im Thurn and Mr Henry Inness Perkins in 1884!
Until next time!
Alistair Linsell- Gentleman Adventurer!
Behold Science!
Dear fellow supporters,
During a recent lecture I was shown a fascinatingly strange and exquisitely beautiful phenomenon and as a gentleman of science I feel compelled to tell you about it. This is not strictly to do with fundraising or conservation but I assure you it is truly wonderful.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you ferrofluid.
The two towers are electromagnets and the liquid is simply a mixture of water and nanoparticles of magnetite (An oxide of iron- Fe3O4 the first material known to be magnetic). Whilst that may sound complex imagine it as a lot of very small iron filings suspended in water. We’ve all played with iron filings and a magnet at school and seen how the iron filings line up in spiky patterns at the ends of the magnet where the magnetic flux is at its densest. The magnetite nanoparticles behave in a similar fashion. However they are suspended in the liquid and we all know liquids do not form patterns when exposed to a magnet. The result is that when exposed to a magnetic field there are two competing forces if you will. The liquid, which would like to be sitting happily in the pool, and the magnetite particles, which want to line up to the magnetic field. The result is the formation of the tiny cones you can see around the electromagnets. As the electromagnets alter the strength of their magnetic field the fluid behaves differently, with strong fields the cones are completely covered, and as the field is turned off the fluid falls back into the pool like water.
I have to say that this is a truly beautiful phenomenon and as well as looking pretty it has some applications too. Ferrofluids can be used to form seals in machinery, such as motors or hard drives, and can be used as dampeners to dissipate unwanted energy from vibrations or oscillations.
Yours Truly,
(Liked this entry? Please do sponsor me! http://www.justgiving.com/Alistair-Linse
Announcement!
To the good ladies and gentlemen of the internet,
Let it be known that I, Alistair Linsell, do hearby announce my intention to enter the Ibex Earth “Lost World Project”.
The challenge-
To raise as much money as possible for twelve leading environmental charities
The prize-
To be part of an expedition this summer to record a documentary on Mount Roraima, Venezuela.
The lost world…
A plateau surrounded by sheer cliffs, the land from the Arthur Conan Doyle novel, the land described by its first explorers as “some strange country of nightmares”. A land that is clearly not for the faint hearted and a unique land that is in need of protection.
To raise money for these charities, working to protect mount Roraima, and to put myself in the running for such a prize, I shall become...
Alistair Linsell, Gentlemen Adventurer!
I shall endeavour to undertake a series of sponsored events to raise money for the project and prove my worthy of a place among such an expedition.
These events are thus,
I shall endeavour to attend a lecture at the royal society of chemistry (for all noted adventurers have some official body which they are affiliated to, from which they springboard their adventures).
I shall endeavour to take tea, from a china tea set, on top of Snowdon (for their is no drink more civilised than tea, and where better to drink it than on top of a mountain).
AND I shall endeavour to undertake a further challenge issued by you, the good people of the internet! So get thinking!
And further more I shall of course be writing to Her Majesty the Queen informing her of my progress.
Do check back with the blog for updates on my progress, information on the charities, letters to the queen, responses from the queen (hopefully), details of Mount Roraima’s unique wildlife, proceedings from the Royal Society of Chemistry, and further exciting developments in the life of
Alistair Linsell, Gentlemen Adventurer!
Issue your challenges!
And please do sponsor me
http://www.justgiving.com/Alistair-Linse
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